To My Newly Married Friends

I am in the stage of life where friend are just getting married or just having babies. Being married almost seven years and two kids later, I am in the thick of life.

I always get suckered into the social media post my newly married friends post where they gush over the love for their husbands, #bestlife, #besthusband, #livinglifetogether, I always giggle to myself.  Two of my girl friends and I usually share the gushing posts together, not to mock at them, but to mock at our current situation. While they are gushing over the simplicity of life and love, we are usually  wiping butts, negotiating with a toddler and wondering if Mac-n-Cheese for a third night is considered child abuse or not.  I am also counting down to when bed time rolls around and my husband and I tuck the kids in, say prayers, decline all request to stay up, shut the their bedroom doors, give each-other a high-five and off to our separate parts of the house we go. Wait... did I just say we go our separate ways most nights?!?!?

See, seven years into marriage doesn't mean I love my husband less than year one, oh no there is far more love now than ever before. Watching my husband be a dad has made me love him even more. But boy do I love a night alone, on the couch watching my favorite YouTube channels, eating something horrible for me, as if Mac-n-Cheese wasn't bad enough, lights turned down low to drown out the toys on the floor. Just me, a blanket and Ben-n-Jerry.

Our first four years of a kid-less marriage was simple. I actually loved doing the dishes and putting the laundry away. I thought I actually knew what laundry was. You don't know laundry until little humans are part of the equation. How does one tinny human double your laundry?!?!?!

I am sure I would have used #dateyourspouse on every random eating out trip those first four years. But I am not sure we really understand #dateyourspouse until the idea of being out together alone, with no kids for longer than 10 minutes is an actual luxury.

The dynamic of our marriage has changed the last 7 years after introducing our 2 beautiful offspring's. However, it was those first 4 years of simple love, selfish moments, simplicity of life that prepared us for the chaotic, exhausting, beautiful life we have now. I wouldn't go back to those simple days. I can't imagine life with out our kids.

The generation before me has been though it all, the simplicity of life, the chaoticness of raising children and the silence of an empty nest, and they always tell me to enjoy this moment because it goes so fast. One day life will slow down again, I will know what a full 8+ hours of sleep is like and not have to sniff butts to see which child pooped.

To my newly married friends, #dateyourspouse, #livelifetogether and #dream because soon enough your life will change all over again and these moments together will be far and few between, but this is the time you are building the foundation for a loving family. I see you and I am praying for you and your future.